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What do you call a guy who makes "Woman in the Kitchen" jokes? Single.
Just when you think you have the answer a woman will be there to change the question.
I´m playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously can´t get off the couch or I´ll die.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn`t for any religious reasons. They couldn`t find three wise men and a virgin.
figured out today that my GPS has auto-correct....I put in "Beach house" and ended up in my ex`s driveway.
I`m great at spelling bees ... But hopless at spelling other words.
If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
Before Google, I averaged 220 Snapple bottles before I found the answer.
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
When people have cars as their profile picture I automatically presume they are a transformer.
One of the best uses I`ve ever found for invisible ink is when I signed my marriage license with it.
Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you`ve been dating the ugly sister
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
I`m not interested in anything that requires 5 hours of energy.
Dating tip: Men always remember the woman who vomited on them.