Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
Why do they waste so much money on all the checkout lanes at Walmart, when they only have two of them open at any given time.
I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
My business card is just a picture of me looking inside the fridge.
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario & how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream.
Why does it have to be bacon OR sausage?
Pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window.
Confuse your coworkers today by telling them you`re going to the restroom to do a "number 3"
Sarcasm: because beating the sh!t out of people is illegal.
There`s nothing a floored gas pedal and cranked music can`t cure.
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking
Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.