Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m going to stand outside. So, if anyone asks, I`m outstanding.
I have no time for games in my relationships. Unless by games you`re referring to naked twister. I`ve always got time for that sh!t.
I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy sh!t.
If you’re not fully satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain about it on the internet. Whatever you prefer.
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
I was playing catch phrase with my family and the phrase I got was `pearl necklace` .. And then I ruined family time...
Remember, laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrea.
So many idiots, so few nuclear warheads....
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
I wear a ski mask to bed so if there`s a home invasion the intruder will think I`m part of the team.
I`m alone in my car ... Counting it as a vacation.
Yes... I repost. Isn`t that kinda the point? Spread the love and shit? Mostly shit... But that`s your fault...
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
I went to the Dr today with severe headaches .. he asked if I suffered from any memory loss. I said "How the F would I know?"
I always look out for #1 ... unless I`m walking thru my yard, then I look out for #2