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I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.
If you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 3 or 4 births before they throw you out.
Don`t blame me. You`re the one following a 41 year old man who just jumped into his bed like an Olympic athlete because scary monsters.
Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me.
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
Really discouraging that there`s still bald people in sci fi movies.
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
since when was it cool to have an iPhone at the age of 10.. i sincerely hope those parents know what they`ve done.
"Do you have a charger?" is the new "Could I bum a cigarette?"
Scent is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.
Still have my French Maid costume in case any of you have a dirty house. I`ll be happy to sit there and look sexy while your wife cleans....
Keep scrolling , I got nothing.
We’ve solved so many world problems, and yet chocolate still has calories.
It must be exhausting being offended by everything.