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This salad is delicious, probably because it`s a donut.
You might be addicted to Facebook if you read my post`s every day...
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
I failed the emergency broadcast test. My apologies to all the employees I shoved to the ground while screaming
Nothing embarrasses psychics more than throwing them a surprise birthday party.
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day............ Palm Sunday is just around the corner
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their car keys.
They say 1 in 3 people cheat in a relationship. I`m not sure if its my wife or my girlfriend.
Unless you tripped and smacked your face on the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.
Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there`s an idiot pulling a door that says "PUSH"..
My boss acts like during March Madness is the only time we`re less productive. Its cute
"Nothing there? Better bark at it." - my dog
Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him.. :|
I get very competitive at "All You Can Eat Buffets."
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes off 9 minutes of your life.. According to my calculations i should have died in 1732.