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You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
Why don’t television shows say, “You will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?”
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
My neighbor thinks I`m crazy and that I`ve been stalking her. well at least that`s what her diary says.
People who say `expresso` instead of `espresso,` may I axe you to please stop? Thanx.
I can’t believe it’s 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer.
I`m so bored at work that I`m actually doing my job.
Nothing screws up your Friday more than realizing it’s only Tuesday.
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!
The worst part of Aquaman`s day has to be, when he has to kill time on land for half an hour after eating a meal.
If anyone tells you, you have ADHD. Pay no attention.
You are more likely to be bitten by a person who believes they are a shark than an actual shark.
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.
Despite its name, Gatorade is pretty much fatal to alligators. I’m not allowed to volunteer at the zoo anymore.