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Oh no! I have to enter my date of birth to view this explicit content! Damn this internet security!
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
my ex-girlfriend is a famous porn star. But would she be pissed if she found out.
A married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy
Making mirrors look good, since 1972
I`m going to propose with a mood ring so I can easily see a measurement of how excited she really is.
Cut out the middleman and just list 911 as your emergency contact.
I`ve been calling my wife "honey" for 12 years because I don`t know how to tell her I forgot her name.
hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
I`m not worried about the zombie apocalypse that is coming. I`m worried about the fcuktard apocalypse that is here right now.
My participation in this meeting will be based solely on the snacks they provide.
Found out the difference between onions and men. I don`t cry when I`m chopping up men.
The easiest way to distract a woman is to show her a picture of herself.