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Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you`re in.
My nose is "running", that`s all the exercise I can handle for one day.......
My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.
I`m considering buying a racehorse and naming it, "My Face". Just so I can hear everyone in the stands scream "Come on, My face!!"...
There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those goddamned losers has decided to become Batman.
Just...sitting...thinking...planning my next move to get that new roll of toilet paper about 5 feet away from me.
Am I the only one that always puts my wallet back into my pocket before getting my change back?
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you`ll get what you want.
I guess at a job interview "firing you" is not an acceptable answer when asked where I see myself in a few years.
Don’t believe everything you think.
People say laughter is the best medicine, but I’d like to think a beer is the way to go.
Life gave me onions ... Onionade sucks.
Tieam... problem solved
Donald Duck, saying screw you to pants since 1934.