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my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
"Hey! Aren`t you that guy from the village people?" - Me, to every cop who pulls me over
MAN LAW 101: No man should ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
You know you`re getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.
Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.
Women have a lot more experience dealing with bloodstains than men. Men are convicted of murder a lot more than women. Coincidence?
Always thought the 4 words I never wanted to hear from my wife was "I want a divorce". Turns out its actually, "What is your password".
Million dollar idea: A bathroom mirror that takes pictures.
You make me wanna be a better stalker. No, seriously. Slow the f*ck down.
Be careful on how tough you are on your kids....Strict parents create sneaky children.
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
Question everything...Or should you?
Bicyclists, it`s one thing to hog the road, but it`s quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls.
For the past 3 years I have been planning to write an article on Procrastination!!!