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That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbor mowing the lawn. I figure he`ll just have to mow around me. I`m not moving.
If I was Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, "That`s one small step for man," would have been, "Screw you every girl who ever shot me down!"
I hate it when I don`t forward a chain letter and I die the next day.
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Home Depot
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
I heard she was born naked!! That slut!
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
I`m proud to announce that I`m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don`t know we`re racing.
I dig, she digs, he digs, they dig, we dig. its not a good poem but its really deep.
The best two kinds of beer in this world are....Cold & Free..
So many fun things to say … too many relatives on Facebook to post!
Like a good neighbor, stay over there
If House of Cards has taught me anything it’s that I need a friend who owns a rib place.