Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My girlfriend said we can`t hang out this weekend because she doesn`t really exist.
I tried to log in on my ipad. Turns out it was an Etch-a-Sketch and I don`t own an ipad. Also, I`m out of vodka.
This is the earliest I have ever been late.
Sรถ รฎ hรจรฃrd รฟรดu lรฌkรช gรนรฟลก with รกcรงeรฑts?
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
You`re never too old to be spanked ...If you play your cards right.
If you work Security in a Samsung store does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?
The last time I touched a breast, it was in a KFC bucket.
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
Itโs like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
So apparently the security guard at Kroger didn`t believe that life gave me that lemon.
I`m good at counting cards. I keep ending up with 52.
My own personal hell sounds great, actually
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........