Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
I always shout "PIZZA`S HERE" so the delivery guy doesn`t think I`m eating two pizzas by myself.
Have we even tried giving Mother Nature a Snickers?
Nothing says “I don’t give a sh!t” like a Hawaiian shirt.
The best part about Valentine`s Day is that tomorrow is Friday.
Whenever I weigh myself, I always subtract 10 pounds. I don`t think boobs, brains, and an ass this fabulous should count against me.
Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn.
When Life rains on your parade, get out the Slip-n-Slide.
I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it`s health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!
Organized people are just to lazy to look for things.
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come in thinking “I’m gonna ki..-ahhh. Damn, he’s under a blanket.”
Today is boozeday, I mean Tuesday...same difference!
Obviously the movie "the good wife" is not based on a true story. It`s fiction people.
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. I hope they let me back in Walmart.