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I always keep a Mexican restaurant on speed dial in queso emergency.
It’s all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call.
As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself: "I`m going to get thrown out of this home depot in a minute."
I saw a baby wearing a bib that said, “This dumbass put my cape on backwards”
"Any way you can speed this up, officer? I`m obviously in a hurry."
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
Started working on my taxes today and learned why the form is called 1040. For every $50 I make, I get $10 and the gov`t gets $40...
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
Here`s a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management
I find that some of the best jokes are the ones that drag you in slowly and then leave you waiting in antici...
I`m no expert, but I would guess the internet really affected encyclopedia sales.
I had your cake and ate it too.
I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I’m going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.
I have an inferiority complex,,,,,, but it isn`t a very good one.