Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive ..."Hi"
I’m glad you’re learning to laugh at yourself. That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us.
Christmas came early this year! My neighbor just upgraded our internet speed... I mean his internet speed. Or whatever...
Valentines day
Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
The last time I got drunk I married Satan..I`m not doing either one again
Hate having friends? Just chew with your mouth open.
I got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks ... to the alligators.
The older I get, the more I enjoy being bored.
Babies are so cute because none of them are mine.
My new dating profile just says "I`m tired of masturbating."
What do we want? An end to auto-correct errors! When do we want it? Cow! Sow! Bow! Tow! Duck this...
Doormats are a gateway rug.
Redneck`s famous last words: "Is that enough duck tape?"
I eat my corn on the cob like an old-school typewriter. This is how the 80`s cartoons taught me to do it as a kid.