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It`s a little disappointing when you`re watching a school basket ball game & no one turns into a werewolf.
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day ... Palm Sunday is just around the corner
So far I`m 0 for 276 for walking around the block in hopes of finding a bag of money on the side of the road.
I wish I were an octopus so that the answer to all of my problems would be, `change color and escape in a cloud of ink`
In my porno they`d deliver the pizza after they had sex because otherwise it`d just get cold.
I could do so much more if I only had minions.
Man what a day. I pulled my groin...for like 20 minutes.
When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.
I eat tacos over a tortilla so that way when stuff falls out Boom another taco.
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
U make me wish I had more middle fingers
Why do cops get mad when other cops have jurisdiction over a case? I`d be like cool I`m going home to eat.
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
A cop comes up to a man on the street. Cop: Seen anything unusual? Man: A dolphin with a hat once. Cop: I mean around here. Man: No, they live in water.
You`re about as deep as a kiddies splash-pool..