Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
One of the most important things in life is perserverance. Hang on...perseveren...no, perserveer...pesever… oh, never mind.....
My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means he can eat anything off the floor if he waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.
That awkward moment when you make a Harry Potter reference and none of your Muggle friends get it.
Ok advertisers, for the last time. I’m playing a game I downloaded for free. So, the fact that you chose to advertise here means your product is grossly overpriced…
Of course women dont fart. They never shut up long enough to build up pressure
It’s strange to think that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals desperately trying to get laid.
In hell you`re always trying to spread butter that`s too cold.
I wish they made bar-stools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
In retrospect, replying "Happy as a serial killer in a skin suit factory", probably wasn`t the best way to respond to my therapist.
Darn right I’m good in bed. ...I can sleep for days.
This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she’s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.
Why isn`t cat food made from birds, mice and squirrels??
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.
As a kid, I used to be afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I’m terrified of the electricity bill.