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Peyton Manning saw his shadow this morning...that means six more weeks of bad Papa Johns commercials.
This day needs more tomfoolery!
We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me
"I`m $50 away from getting free shipping which is only $5 and what I want is $12 so I need to spend $38 more to save money." -my brain
Iām not stupid. Iām just too lazy to show how smart I am.
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
Blue&Black or White&Gold? Who cares what color the dress is, so long as its balled up on the floor of my bedroom.
My husband and I are having a serious fight. Do you think I should let him know about it?
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout I`m telling you why...we have our own problems and nobody cares about yours.
I`d be so much more successful if some of my ancestors had just married better.
The brain is the most outstanding organ, it works for 24 hours 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
People say 60 is the new 40 but the cop who just pulled me over doesn`t agree.
My p@nis was in the Guiness Book of Records. Untill the librarian kicked me out