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It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
I have two feelings, it`s either "I`m hungry" or "I shouldn`t have eaten this much"
My smoke detectors are always cheering me on for being such a great cook.
You have a point. It`s just not very sharp
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I will kill you."
Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
Based on how I react when the toast pops out of the toaster, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
I`m great at spelling bees ... But hopless at spelling other words.
I followed my heart...Now I`m at the liquor store.
Let`s share...you take the grenade and I`ll take the pin.
I hate it when people like their own statuses * At this point you like your status for dramatic effect*
At this stage of my life, "Good in Bed" means not snoring or stealing the covers.
Pocketwatches were replaced by wristwatches, which became digitalwatches, which were replaced by mobile phones. Which we keep in our pockets
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves ...That`s where I come in...