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The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax
That awkward moment when there`s not a single awkward moment
My bed has no frame and sits directly on the floor because under-bed monsters are just one less thing I have to worry about now.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners.
Bitches be trippin..... ok, maybe I pushed that one.
Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I`ll keep you posted.
A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
Iām always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...
What is the difference between a Snow-man & a Snow-lady? Snowballs!
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
If there is enough room to spell `bootylicious` on the back of your shorts...it probably isn`t
I`d imagine the only thing worse then getting your period is not getting your period.
We live in a time where "He is hot" is more important than "He is a nice guy."
Based on my reaction to toast popping out of a toaster, Iād like to recommend you never throw me a surprise party.