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You know vacation should be over when all you do is sit around naked, drinking fruity malt liquor beverages
Whenever I`m on the phone with someone I like to scream "WAIT DON`T HANG UP" right as they`re hanging up & then not answer when they call back.
I`m never more nervous than when I tell a doctor what I actually eat.
There’s no question about it, the second half of the tank of gas goes twice as fast as the first!
Think about the nicest thing anyone`s ever said about you. Not really true, right?
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
Don´t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
It deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Tihs wulod not be psibsole if yuor sutipd. I hpoe for yuor skae you wree albe to raed tihs or taht maens yuor an idoit or barin dmagaed.
Time flies when you`re throwing watches.
Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I`m available.
"Nothing there? Better bark at it." - my dog
Maybe I`m not stalking you, maybe I just like your schedule
Tequila is Spanish for I’m open to waking up anywhere.
Question everything...Or should you?
Black Friday at my house consist of pants 100% off