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Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps.
Sometimes getting unfriended on Facebook is magical....really....it`s like the trash took itself out.
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and Facebook.
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes...Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn`t mean to eat it. I don`t want to be a bug.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
On a scale of 1 to "Me".. how smart are you?
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 10% of battery remaining.
The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds
I bet when Cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one goes, “Man, you’re such a Cheetah!” and they laugh & eat a zebra or whatever.
Nintendo should handle education, I don’t remember half the crap from high school but I know all of Super Mario World’s secrets.
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
I lost my ladder when I was very young but I was fortunate to have such a great step-ladder to raise me ...anytime I couldn`t reach anything
Insanity workout? The fact I am even considering putting down my phone and getting off the couch is crazy enough, thanks.