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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"
The older the Facebook post, the creepier your β€œlike” becomes.
The human soul weights 1.2 lbs. I know this because I weighed myself before and after I got to work.
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
The hardest part of being a gentleman is going to all of these gentlemen’s clubs.
Starting tomorrow, whatever life throws at me, I`m ducking so it hits someone else!
Hey you know what will go good with all that beer you just drank? Social media and a camera phone!
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
I put a bumper sticker that says "Honk if You Think I`m Sexy" on my car. Then I wait at green lights until I feel better about myself.
You can make up any word you want in conversation and if you use it in a dilsationary way, people rarely question the meaning.
I liked you better before we met.
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
I`m no cactus expert, but I know a pr!ck when I see one
Am I the only one who closes the silverware drawer with an epic pelvic thrust?
If I was famous I would just knock on peoples doors and be like ... Hello, yes it`s me.