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I`m an organ donor, but I`m pretty sure all they`re going to use my liver for is "after" photos.
Grocery stores could save me a lot of time and effort by adding an “All the stuff you can microwave” aisle.
Just in: Chinese people confirm they were just messing with us with chopsticks. "You guys look like dumb idiots lol" says one Chinese guy
If I’ve learned anything in my twenty-two years on this earth, it’s that it’s okay to lie about your age.
I have two moods: sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.
My lack of dusting will finally pay off on Halloween.
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
The awkward moment when people think you`re drunk when in fact you`re just a blast naturally.
I hate mosquitoes, I mean I know I’m delicious but damn.
You`re in your 20`s... you don`t have "haters"... you have "adults" that think you are "annoying"
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!
You know there was a time in my life where I just didn`t give a f#ck.....funny how it seems that much hasn`t changed from an hour ago!!
A cop just pulled me over and said papers - so I said scissors, I win and drove off.
I don`t always do a lot, but I put a lot of thought into it.