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You just don`t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
The next time you feel you’re worthless…. just remember…. your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
I generally don`t hang out with people who are missing digits on their feet. It`s not that I`m a jerk. I`m just lack-toes intolerant.
Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That`s not lazy, that`s proactive.
Did you know, the designated driver is usually the guy having the most luck with the ladies.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn`t that make life fair?
"I`m glad the weekends over" -Nobody ever
You know its going to be a b!tch of a day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
I`m sorry if I come across as crude, outspoken, and opinionated. That`s only because I am crude, outspoken, and opinionated.
At this stage of my life, "Good in Bed" means not snoring or stealing the covers.
Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” .... I said, “I am.”
I may have no one rocking my world right now, but I have no one ruining it either!
Guys, if you buy ANY woman clothing, & you don’t get her a size S with a gift receipt, you’re an a$$hole.
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
We think therefore we must be, but are we?