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I wish my personality allowed me to write deep and meaningful statuses sometimes, oh well. Titties!
Make fun of George Bush all you want, but he would have found a way to bomb North Korea before they shut down Hollywood.
You’d think after all these beauty pageants, we would have world peace by now.
I was like "No, Pepsi is NOT ok. I wanted a Coke." And she was all "Sir, 911 should only be dialed for real emergencies."
Engineers: "okay, so we agree the space between the seat and the console will allow people to see what they dropped but never retrieve it"
A party without Vodka is just a meeting.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
Threw my back out today reaching for the shampoo in the shower. But I`ll be telling everyone it`s from having sex while skydiving.
The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
Remember, time is more powerful than You!!! One tree makes a million matchsticks......But when the time comes........Only 1 match stick is needed to burn a million trees......
They say milk is good for your teeth..you know what else is good for your teeth..minding your own damn buisness
I doubt my inferiority complex is as good as everyone else`s
Sometimes, when dealing with people, you can`t help but stop and think, "Yup, I`m about to get my first assault charge."
Ice skating is just walking in cursive.