Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There are no bad pictures. That`s just how your face looks sometimes.
It`s the simple things that make me laugh....mostly you.
If it`s true that we are here on earth to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon.
During sex, my wife always wants to talk to me? Just the other night she called me from some hotel.
Somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of the impact you`ve made in their life. It`s not me. I think your an idiot.
I hate when I`m wearing my apple bottoms jeans and I can`t find boots with the fur.
I know the voices aren`t real but they have some great ideas.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
If my fridge had glass doors I would still stand there and hold the door open.
For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....
I am so clever sometimes I don`t even understand what I`m saying.
Ladies...when I say bless you after a sneeze, just say Thank you, instead of wondering where in the bushes that just came from.
They say money doesn`t bring you happiness.... I say....neither does being broke....
I just hope people who say "Jesus is my co-pilot" realize he`s a 1st century carpenter with no time in a flight simulator.