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I`ve done so much f*cked up sh!t while I was drunk that I have to drink to forget it all.
If you ever Google "Grandfather Clock", be careful how you spell that sh!t.
Worries about the economy grow again after the world`s biggest yacht-selling company announce a drop in sails
It`s actually pretty impressive how many poor decisions I can fit in a day.
Just googled "who gives a sh!t?" My name wasn`t in the search results.
I wished I loved anything as much as white people love saying "gracias" at Mexican restaurants.
So it`s racist to call a team Redskins but it`s okay to call a restaurant Cracker Barrel ?
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
Life is like a box of chocolates. They never last as long for fat people.
My parents weren`t exercising all of those nights.
Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn´t surprising really, since it isn´t my birthday.
You’re not important enough to have haters. You just have a few people who notice you’re an a$$hole.
Self checkout must have been invented by a guy who had to buy tampons.
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.
Actions speak louder than words, unless those words are spoken by a drunken woman.