Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
I don`t want to be bothered with stupid $h!t today. What is stupid $h!t? Anything I don`t want to be bothered with.
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can’t conjugate verbs.
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
Dark humor is like sex, not everybody always gets it.
When a movie says "Based on a true story." it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people.
Neighbors just kicked me out of their shower and called the cops. Some of these pokemon go instructions are confusing. A lot of grey area...
Swiss army knives are only like 8% knife.
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
Rest area restrooms are weird. The guy in stall next to me has four feet.
Half of my life has been spent hoping people don’t see me.
I won employee of the month!!!…. again! I love being self employed.
Who called them fake potatoes and not imitaters.
When your Dr. says "I`ll need to Google that"..... it`s time to change Doctors