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If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
Not to brag, but I can spend hours coming up with reasons not to do something that takes 5 minutes.
Spicy food is like BDSM for your mouth
I hate that they put "use by" dates on condoms... like I`m not under enough pressure trying to get laid already.
It`s not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you`ve reached your destination.
Why even ask how my weekend was if you’re just going to interrupt me halfway through to say “Yeah, I saw your Facebook post.”
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
FYI: You can`t beat rock-paper-scissors with yourself in the mirror.
Here`s hoping the wind at your back doesn`t come from the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch. Happy St. Patrick`s Day!
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
I wish bedtime was all the time.
Took the ice from my ice bucket challenge and put it in my whisky.
"Hello 911?" "Someone just stole my status on Facebook... yes, I`ll hold."
Going to the toilet without your phone is like going to war without a gun
My therapist told me I`m nuts. I said "I wanted a second opinion." She said "Well ok, you`re ugly too."