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Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don`t question it.
Women need a tattoo that somehow signals their menstrual cycle ... * A Cramp Stamp
Guy on plane : So, where are you going to? Me : I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.
If I told you I was a pathological liar, would you believe me?
Your secret is safe with me as long as it`s boring.
Why do cops ask us why we think they pulled us over? It`s their job. I dont go to the station and ask why they think I created a powerpoint.
Peanut butter and jelly. That´s what I like in my belly
"She really does suck!" could be a complement in the porn industry
Farting isn`t ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking it`s time and getting to know each one of us personally.
The most exercise I get from my exercise ball is when I move it around in my apartment so that it`s not in my way.
I don`t think I have enough money to find long everlasting love.