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I heard lots of bongo noises coming from my loft last night. It sounded very Drum Attic.
The brain is like the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
Would you like to donate $1 to this charity or leave the checkout line feeling like human scum?
Seems like 2013 was just yesterday.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
The key to a woman`s heart is making her laugh...just make sure she`s not laughing at the size of your junk.
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the bitch that they claim I am.
At what age is it appropriate to tell my friends that they`re imaginary?
Some mornings it`s best to just fill the sink with coffee, dunk your head in it, and suck.
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
Long story short, I love summaries
I think I may be getting harder to love.
If couples who are in love are called `love birds.` Then couples who always argue should be called `angry birds.`
New rule: advertisements can no longer use adjectives. I`ll decide what is "fresh" and "natural" and "like a real girl" thank you very much.
I`ll admit I`m not perfect but what did the horse I rode in on do?