Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve done a lot of things over the years ... But acting normal has never been one of them.
My first mistake was thinking she couldn`t hit a moving target.
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
Lying in bed, listening to the Doors. I really should oil the hinges...
Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni… That folks, is what drugs do to you.
I`m convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.
Today I made sushi at home for the first time. I subsituted a hotdog for the raw tuna, a bun for the rice, and mustard for the wasabi!
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
If you`re sick and tired of every Asshole on Facebook asking you to copy and paste stuff as your status, please copy and paste this as your status.
What idiot decided to call them marijuana dispensaries and not grass stations?
Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.
If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.
Never argue with someone who knows fancier words than you. Like `responsibility`
Not to brag, but I still owe Blockbuster $2.00 for not rewinding Weekend at Bernies.