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When they discover the center of the universe, alot of people will be shocked they`re not in it.
A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
Another day, another chance to make someone say, "Oh, now that`s just WRONG"...
If I had a cooking show, it would be called “Do You Smell Something Burning?”
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
I glued the TV remote to my wife. I`m expecting her to go missing any second now.
I thought I`d try yoga to make myself more flexible, but I`m still incredibly stubborn.
Goodnight, good people - and nite nite to the naughty ones too!
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they`re going to put you in one.
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
Buying my wife a matching belt and bag for her birthday. We`ll have that vacuum cleaner working in no time.
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
I never used to mind my wife hitting me in the face as she climaxed until I found out she was faking it.