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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
Remember when double entry was an accounting term?
This Crazy Weather Makes Me Want To Masturbate Furiously!!!
In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man.
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
The next time the creepy guy at the bar asks you "Why aren`t you smiling?" simply reply, "I don`t smile while I fart."
You can`t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.
When I think of a SELFIE, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of...
"Last man standing" is the winner in most contests, but the runner up in musical chairs.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart
Lets watch a reality show about nasty rednecks acting like rednecks, but get mad when one of them says something a redneck would say
My new dating profile just says "I`m tired of masturbating."
It`s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.
I`m perfect you adjust.