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The ‘poke’ button on Facebook should be replaced with a ‘slap’ button.
It’s like these fools at the gym have never seen someone with roller skates on the treadmill before.
Texting typos can change your life. "Having a great time wish you were her"
Never judge a book by it`s movie.
Guys, want to find out all of your flaws in under a minute? Just ask your girlfriend if she`s gained weight.
Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it`s wide use three fingers, make sure it`s wet and rub up and down. Yep that`s how you wash a cup.
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
Some people never go crazy...... What truly horrible lives they must live
If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!
If only someone on the internet would give me their opinion on the election.
Every Girls Night Out has at least one crier.
The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I fart in my sleep.
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.
Baby Polar Bear: Mommy, am I really a Polar Bear? Mother: Of course you are. Why? Baby Polar Bear: `Cause I`m fukcing freezing!"