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not to brag but I finished this 14 day diet in 3 hours and 38 minutes.
I`m super lazy today! Which is like normal lazy, but I`m also wearing a cape.
I can´t wait until Weight Watchers comes out with a beer.
My poor neighbour suffered a stroke today...I must remember to close the blinds before getting naked.
In relationships, it’s important to pay attention to the person’s likes and dislikes. My parole officer, for example, hates to be tickled.
I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I`ll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab.
There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
Sweetie, if your gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty!
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they take things so literally.
"I know im the best driver on the road" thinks every guy.
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really really fast :)
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
I`m starting to think that all those hours in school, when I practiced writing my autograph, was just a waste of time.....
I started drinking a little early. Yesterday, to be more precise.
I like to listen to mexican radio but I dont know what they are singing or saying so I just pretend they are singing about how awesome I am.