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If someday we all go to prison for downloading Movies and TV shows, I just hope they split us up by genre.
Today is the day I go back to the gym. Tomorrow is when I stop telling lies.
There are a thousand better ways to spend your time and yet here you are with me.
Haters gonna hate, your honor
I can sum up my life in three words: “just browsing, thanks.”
I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink at night.
Where have you been all my life? ... Please go back there.
Never judge a girl`s boob size by their jacket.
Your things are terrific.
When I see a tire swing swaying gently in the breeze, I like to believe its daydreaming about life on the open road.
I understand vampires being invisible in mirrors, but what the hell happens to their clothes?
There`s nothing like hearing the laughter of a baby. Unless it`s 1AM and you`re home alone.
I hate when a website has a picture that you can click and enlarge. Then the "enlarged picture" is the same exact size as the thumbnail!
So apparently the security guard at Kroger didn`t believe that life gave me that lemon.
My friend bought some new floral underwear today. I asked her why she bought `floral` underwear to which she replied "its in memory of all the faces that have been buried there".