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McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
I just burnt my tongue on my food. It made me realise that it’s the ones we love that hurt us the most.
Attention fuels immaturity
Why do we call it toilet paper? Does anyone wipe their toilet with it?
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
I like to start my morning off with a good nap.
"Have you been drinking . sir?" asks the policeman. "Go Pikachu! Thunderbolt!" "Sir, did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
Wow, I haven`t seen you since the last time I wish I hadn`t seen you
Been there, done that. allegedly
"They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears
If you feel bad because you didn’t do well on a final, just remember someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper.
How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she`s the one.
I’m just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.