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Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
"I`m sorry" and "I apologise" mean the same thing...except when you`re at a funeral.
I hate it when chicks wear pink camo. I`m like, "girl" where you hiding? Candyland?
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
Maybe there`s no such thing as automatic doors, just gentlemen ninjas.
I`m honestly convinced some women do not fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.
I only use elevators for one thing. Surprise group hugs
A fun part of your 40s is waking up thinking you`re hungover, and then remembering, nope, this is just how my body feels now.
I automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive.
Give a man a fish & he`ll eat for a day. Give a man a jelly fish and you can pee on him.
My favorite word is `apparently`. Makes anything sound sarcastic. He`s intelligent, apparently.
My brain has too many tabs open.
I`m not feeling myself today..... Perhaps I should feel someone else.
Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone.. If you don´t know anyone, or even if you´ve heard of someone who doesn´t know anyone, then do still copy this. It´s important to spread the message. Oh and the hearts ? ? ? ? For crap´s sake, don´t forget the hearts! ? ? ? ?
I just want to be as thin as my patience.