Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
At long last, I`ve finished my research into the effect alcohol has on physical movement.....The results were, quite frankly, staggering.
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo
I donate blood 5 times a year just so I`m less and less related to some of my relatives.
Oh look, it`s raining outside. I think I`ll go on Facebook and update all my friends that don`t have a window of their own.
I`m giving up abbreviations for Lent. Laugh Out Loud
I guarantee there`s a pregnant teenager somewhere who thinks `Ebola` would be a lovely name for their child.
My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming.
Marriage Tip: If your husband is watching golf, show him you`re interested by repeatedly asking "why doesn`t our lawn ever look that nice?"
It’s not you. It’s my ears. They just make you sound so boring and dull.
7.1 billion people in the world. 0 willing to lower their standards and date me.
Ignoring things don`t make them go away, it makes them drunk dial you.
If I had a crystal ball to see 5 years in the future, I would have 2020 vision.
Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.