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My mom never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
Thank you, True Crime, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
Sometimes I feel as though my life should be documented for future generations.
Texting totally changes your perception of how long stoplights are.
I’m right 97% of the time…who cares about the other 4%.
Hey! Wanna make $$$$$$ fast? Just follow my simple instructions. 1:Hold down the Shift key 2:Press the number 4 six times. It’s that easy.
Holy sh!t! I just opened a bag of cheddar and sour cream Ruffles and one of the chips was plain. This is a sign, man. God is going to smite all of us f*ckers with his wrath and send us to all to burn in the eternal flames of... Sorry. Just one side of the chip was plain. Carry on.
I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
Why aren`t we letting blind people think that dragons are real?
Since my ear surgery I haven`t heard from my doctor. Not sure if that`s a good thing or not.
You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number.
Please ignore this status, I am standing alone and I don`t want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting
Men who claim women belong in the kitchen definitely do not know what to do with them in the bedroom!
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
I never drink unless I am alone or with somebody.