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My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
As often as I lose lighters and sunglasses, it`s a good thing I never had kids. Or did I?
I hate mixed messages. They`re great.
I’m mad, but not as mad as someone asking to see the rules in the middle of a monopoly game.
Hmmm… Who should I stalk on Facebook now? :)
The first sign of laziness:
The phrase "Go see your Ford dealer" means something completely different in Canada than the United States.
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat.
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
Some days I just wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
Welcome to the obesessive-compulsive hotline... please press 1 repeatedly.
I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.
A good thing about dating a vegan is that you could kill 2 birds with 1 stone, when you buy flowers because they`re also a snack for later.
If you catch me doing a selfie at work, at least offer to take the pic for me.