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Have you ever seen the look on a mans face when he is truly sorry? Yeah, me either!
Oh you better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout I`m telling you why. Nobody gives a f*ck.
I’m not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be boob shaped.
Sorry I pissed you off, but I find you much more entertaining this way.
To show my support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I`ll be giving free breast exams all month. Hit me up if you`re interested.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
The road to hell is paved with good intentions Note to self...avoid good intentions at all costs.
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
What if , one day you randomly wake up and realize that you`re whole life was just a dream.
The only complaint I have about being married is being married.
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
Nothing makes me more nervous than getting FB msg saying, “You’ve been tagged in a photo” after a crazy weekend.
The first guy who made fire by rubbing two sticks together probably did a lot of other weird sh!t.
Orgasms are alot like pizza. As long as I have pizza I don`t really care if you don`t have any pizza.
It’s not my fault God gave you boobs to stare at.