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30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
Hi, it’s me. I can’t get to the phone right now, even though it’s right here in my hand.
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin.. I don’t even know what that means but now I’m hungry.
Sugar` is the only word in English that starts with `su` and sounds like `sh`. I`m sure of it.
My will has a list of friends not allowed to speak at my funeral.
What do you mean this posting of the BBQ ribs you made is not an invite?
The whole purpose of vacationing is to make you appreciate knowing where the channels are at home.
I`d like to give a big shout-out to all my hard of hearing friends!
I hate it when people rub things in my face... unless it`s two boobs.
If you could have one super power would you pick flying, invisibility, or falling asleep without questioning every decision you`ve ever made
Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
Just saw a car at McDonalds take 4 tries to get lined up in a parking space. I`m not judgmental, so I won`t assume what sex she was.
Setting an alarm is how we ruin days that haven`t even started yet.
How I sing it: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G,....H, I, J, K, A LEMON OH PEE!....Q, R, S....T, U, V....W, X....Y, and Z."