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In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew.
If you`re happy and you know it, thank your ex.
I will die on a white floor just to mess with the chalk outline guy.
I really thought 2015 had potential to be “my year” but we’re 2 months in and that ship has sailed so I’ll try again for 2016.
Slutty girls are like Walmarts, everyone makes fun of them but when you`re inside one at 4am you think, i`m glad these are here.
I`m not saying Goldilocks was a piece of sh!t, but she broke into someone`s house and just started eating their breakfast.
Why is it the less money someone makes the better they are at reproducing?
Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house, but that fly is dead.
So red or white wine with hamburger helper?
If Wal-Mart ends up selling mortgages, the trailer market will explode.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.
My family tree is a cactus, we`re all pricks.