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My horoscope started with `are you sitting down?`
Let´s drink tequila till you don´t remember what I suggest next..
Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
If everything tastes like us, why do we have to die? –Chickens
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
“Oh boy, I can’t wait to be productive today.” – said no one ever
tried being normal. Didn`t like the feeling, so I`m going back to being ME.
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
I`ve just seen an advert in my local newspaper. ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! $35,000 - $40,000 So I called them up and said, "The answer is -$5,000."
I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying.
Mister Rogers didn`t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
Since everything is closed for Thanksgiving I’m going to drive around and park in all the good spots I never get.
Arm wrestling is DEFINITELY the manliest sport where Two dudes hold hands...
You can`t always decide who walks into your life, but you can decide which window to throw them out of.