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I accidentally wore green today. And I probably will be drunk later but NOT because it`s St. Patrick`s Day, because it`s Monday.
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
I don`t always have awkward moments, but when I do I make sure I write them on Facebook so my friends know how awkward they were.
My inner child is a drunken whore
The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to "watch a movie" is actually watching a movie.
I wear a ski mask to bed so if there`s a home invasion the intruder will think I`m part of the team.
I hate when someone has a loud conversation on their cell phone and then gives me dirty looks for jotting down everything they say.
If you think someone is staring at you: 1. Yawn 2. If they yawn, they were staring.
The key to a woman`s heart is making her laugh...just make sure she`s not laughing at the size of your junk.
My mind says go to the gym but my heart says food.
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
I think I may be getting harder to love.
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.
Hope dogs are kissing us and not trying to see if we started tasting good yet.