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The naughty me makes the nice me giggle.
Apparently when my math teacher asked `what comes after 69` "I DO" was not the correct answer.
Trying to figure out why I joined the gym when I have Photoshop.
"Good for you!" means, "I do not consider you a threat" in woman-speak.
I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...
Let me check my giveashitmeter ... nope nothing.
Who the hell invented Bull Riding? "Hey, I`m gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me!!!"
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good!
I wish "it`s the thought that counts" worked for housework.
I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I`ll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
If you`ve Liked more than 15 of my posts over the past year, I assume you`re okay with me putting you down as a personal reference on this job application, k?
"We attack at dawn!" - Hangovers
If you can make a woman laugh, you`re almost there. If you`re almost there & she laughs, now that`s a different thing.
I trust Snapple facts more than CNN and Fox News.
You know you`re a mom when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.