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She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to grow up, I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
In relationships, it’s important to pay attention to the person’s likes and dislikes. My parole officer, for example, hates to be tickled.
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
I`m not lying, I`m just making the story better.
Have you ever laughed so hard that no sound comes out and you sit there clapping your hands like a retarded seal?
I`m leaving my body to science because even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves
Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
Are you supposed to get an email that says β€œHAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
My 5yr old learned how to whistle if anyone’s looking for a new 5yr old.
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.
Do you women realize how silly you all look with your clothes on?
Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
There are two types of people in this world, those with common sense and those who have to pee on the electric fence for themselves