Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
Massaging the shoulders of the person in front of you at the Redbox machine will usually help them make up their mind faster.
Don’t trust people that dislike pizza. They’re probably not human.
"Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I`m doing nothing right now... it`s totally possible.
I dreamed about you last night, and so you know; Shame on you!!
I`m painting a blue square in my garden, so that Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
Always finish your beer. There`s sober kids in Africa.
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
I decided to bury the hatchet with that neighbor I never got along with. After all, it is the murder weapon.
Any way you can speed this up, officer? I`m obviously in a hurry.
Horse racing is like NASCAR only slower and with poop.
I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks
Dear small line of dirt that wont go in the dustpan… Screw you.