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Vodka is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
Sometimes I just go to work for the free internet.
Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on?
I don`t understand why people have to "get ready" for bed....I`m always ready for bed.
The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn’t enough motivation to get off the couch.
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
I hope I never go to jail because I haven`t memorized a phone number since 2001
A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
tried being normal. Didn`t like the feeling, so I`m going back to being ME.
If you can afford a gym membership, you can afford deodorant.
I`m a crabby a$$ bitch before my coffee ... and after
The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks.
The only way I`ll ever run a marathon is if I set up the booths and hand out tags.
I put on real clothes today. What more do you want from me?
I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.