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Sometimes all you need is $100,000
I must say I enjoy it more when a girl asks me out. To me, there`s nothing more attractive than that high level of confidence, initiative, and poor judgment.
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess
Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
Its never polite to ask the guy at the next table "are you done with that?" Especially when he`s breaking up with his girlfriend.
These peopele at the gym are looking at me like they expect me to share my donuts ... SMH
Maybe the reason the world keeps making idiots famous is because 75% of the world is made up of idiots.
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
This cold weather makes me half the man I used to be.
Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humor, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.
Word to the wise - make sure the phone is 100% hung up before you call someone an a$$hole.
In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn`t move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape
Learning how to break wooden boards in karate is important in case you ever get in a fight with a house.
Just because you`re not paranoid doesn`t mean they`re not out to get you.
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.