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I wish I had Shazam for faces...
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
Golf would be a lot more fun to watch on TV if the balls were on fire
I`m pretty sure my laundry breeds while I sleep.
I’ve been that, done that, had that, lost that, needed that and felt that. Just a few of the many reasons why I always drink to “that”.
if ever you need NOTHING, im here for you.
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn`t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
I am so clever sometimes I don`t even understand what I`m saying.
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
"YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!?" I yell to my husband as I hand him the trash.
I finished your laundry, the ashes are in the fireplace.
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
First rule of Pizza club, you don’t share it.