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If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
I think...therefore, I am.....single
It’s funny how people get mad when you treat them the same way they treat you.
Don`t sugar-coat it, I`ll just lick that off....
Facebook`s list of "suggested friends" is quite literally a list of people I`ve been avoiding my entire life.
For someone who can`t put on a pair of socks without falling over, I sure do manage to get a lot done every day.
If you`re behind someone at the ATM late at night, let them know you`re not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck.
A real man should never wave faster than he says the word “hey”
I’m glad you spent $80 on makeup to look like a $5 whore. Well done
The two major causes of depression are: a) having a job, and b) not having a job.
Be careful when you`re watching a movie with your wife. You`re gonna get blamed for whatever the guy in the movie does.
The heart wants what the heart wants. *opens 12th beer*
Why do single people take advice from other single people? That’s like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions
Masturbating in front of your partner in the hope that she’ll join does not always work. And people on the bus stare at you.